This beautiful woman is my mother. This is the most incredibly woman I have ever and will ever know.
Sadly, I lost her to cancer in October 2012.
I can still remember it like it was yesterday. Every moment, every feeling. I remember the last words, the last embrace. I remember it all. Every detail, forever engrained in my mind.
I have never experienced more pain then in that afternoon she left us. My sister and I by her side, she was heavily sedated. We just sat there, waiting for her to move on from this life. It felt like an eternity and a split second all at once. Nothing seemed to make sense. None of this was suppose to be happening. How am I suppose to go on without my mother?!
I still think about her everyday. I miss her beyond words. I know people often say that it gets better or easier over time, but I think when you have small children it doesn’t. My daughter was just 3 when my mother passed. Every time my daughter does something new and amazing all I can think about is how badly I wish my mom was here to see it. She watched my daughter everyday when I went to work, and they were so close. She taught her so much, and I am so grateful for that.
I try my best to be happy for the times that we did have together. It’s so hard because for me, when my mom passed my thoughts were flooded with “what ifs” and regrets.
For me, Mothers Day is very bittersweet. I miss my mother so much. I am reminded though, of all the happy thoughts and memories of her. I am blessed to have a beautiful daughter and two step-children. They are the light in my life.
For all the mothers out there, Happy Mothers Day. We are blessed to have the best job in the world, and I hope you have a wonderful day shared with your family.