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The end of this year has been different for me then most. Having shared custody of my daughter is very hard, especially during the holidays. We switch off holidays every year, this year I had my daughter for Christmas Eve. My husband was working and his children were with their mother, so it was just her and I. We sent a letter to Santa at the beginning of December explaining our situation, that she would be with me on Christmas Eve and we asked him if he could please bring her presents to our house a day early. Thankfully, Santa answered her letter and she woke up to a tree surrounded by gifts on the 24th. I did my best to make it a very magical and special day for her. Late that night I dropped her off with her father, and drove home to an empty house. It felt very strange being home along on Christmas Eve, but I had planned on going to my husband’s work the next morning and spending Christmas with him. I woke up early Christmas morning only to find out the weather conditions had worsened and I wouldn’t be able to drive up north to him. I would be spending Christmas alone for the first time in my life. It was a very strange day for me. I wasn’t watching children rip open their gifts from Santa, listening to their joy and excitement with every surprise. I wasn’t making a special Christmas morning breakfast for everyone. I wasn’t opening up any gifts myself. I was sitting alone on my couch with a cup of coffee in my bathrobe in complete silence. Time went by painfully slow.
I watched the news hoping the weather would improve, but it only got worse. It was so strange not to be making a Christmas feast that evening. I usually spent the entire afternoon cooking a beautiful ham and many delicious sides. Instead my dinner was a bowl of pasta and a glass of wine. I had never felt so lonely in my entire life. Then to top things off I found out that evening that George Michael passed away. Those that know me personally know just how much I love George Michael. His music has been a huge part of my life, and I admired him so much as a person. He was a major influence and my favorite musical artist, and he died. It really hit me hard, probably even worse considering how my Christmas was already going.
I picked my daughter back up on Tuesday, but it was bittersweet. I would only have her for the day as she was going on vacation with her father for the remainder of the year. We spent Tuesday cleaning out her room and making it a little more grown up. We had a lovely day together, and after I had to drop her back off early Wednesday morning I cried the whole way home. My husband came home late Wednesday morning, and his kids came over later that night. They were able to open their presents that night, and it was so nice to see some more Christmas joy. However, my daughters presence was deeply missed.
This week Carrie Fisher passed away, and a day later her mother Debbie Reynolds. We saw the new Star Wars movie this week and the ending caused me to burst into tears in the theater. 2016 certainly feels like it’s ending on a sad note. I went to Party City yesterday and purchased a whole bunch of noisemakers and other fun decorations for tonight, and my husband will be BBQ’ing so I hope that at least at our home this evening we have a joyful celebration.
I apologize, I realize this post is a bit of a downer! It really is just a strange end to the year. Even the weather is gloomy here today, not a typical sunny Phoenix day. I have high hopes for 2017 though. It’s a nice chance for a fresh start! I want to make tomorrow really wonderful and start of my year on the right foot. Some of the things I want to continue to work on in 2017 are expanding my yoga practice! I got back into yoga in the month of December, and I really want to continue going to classes and also working on my practice at home. I do feel like yoga helps not only physically but also mentally. I also feel so positive and clear after a class. I’m also getting to be a lot more flexible, so I want to continue working hard. Another thing I want to keep working on is eating healthier! I do feel like I eat pretty healthy in general, but I’m sort of kicking that up a notch. I am doing my best to follow a pescatarian diet. Basically the only meat I eat is fish, and I try to stick to other plant based foods. I’ve also completely eliminated dairy from my diet which I have to say has made a huge difference for me. I’m so grateful that Whole Foods carries non-dairy substitutions for some of my favorite foods like yogurt, cheese, eggs, etc. They even have plant based bacon that is really delicious! Of course I am the only one in my household following this diet, so I’ve been faced with the challenge of making my own pescatarian versions of our regular dishes.
So with all that being said, I look forward to celebrating the end of this year with my family tonight. I hope you all have a wonderful New Years Eve celebration as well!